Understanding the Mental Load and What You Can Do About It

You’re getting through the day, but it feels like everything takes more energy than it should. Even small tasks feel heavy. You’re not just tired; you're carrying something invisible that never seems to turn off.

That feeling has a name: the mental load. And you're not alone in experiencing it.

If you scored in the high stress / low wellness range on your recent quiz, this article is for you. We’ll explore what the mental load is, how it impacts your mental health, and what you can do to begin lightening the weight, one step at a time.

Didn’t take the quiz yet? No worries — you can take our 3-minute mental wellness check-in here to see how balanced your current habits and stress levels are.

What Is the Mental Load?

The “mental load” refers to the invisible cognitive and emotional labor involved in keeping life running. It includes things like:

• Remembering appointments, groceries, medications, family needs

• Planning and anticipating, often for others

• Managing emotions, both yours and others’

• Worrying about finances, work, health, relationships

• Constant background thinking: “Did I forget something?”

It’s not just physical tasks, it’s the mental juggling act behind them. Over time, this constant cognitive effort leads to fatigue, irritability, disconnection, and burnout.

How the Mental Load Impacts Mental Health

High levels of mental load can quietly wear down your emotional and physical reserves. You might notice:

• Trouble focusing or sleeping

• Emotional reactivity (quick to anger or tears)

• Feeling numb or disconnected from joy

• Persistent anxiety or overwhelm

• A sense of “never doing enough” even when you’re doing a lot

Left unaddressed, the mental load can contribute to burnout, anxiety, depression, and relational strain.

5 Steps to Begin Lightening the Mental Load

You don’t need to fix everything at once. These steps are designed to help you take small, realistic action even when energy is low.

1. Name What You’re Carrying

Take 5 minutes and write down everything you’re holding mentally right now, tasks, worries, emotions. You might be surprised at how much you’ve been carrying silently.

Naming the load is the first step to redistributing it.

2. Stop Performing Wellness

When we’re stressed, we sometimes try to “act okay” out of habit. But performing wellness (smiling, over-functioning, saying “I’m fine”) just adds pressure.

Give yourself permission to be as you are, without apology. Authenticity is not weakness, it’s where real healing begins.

3. Share the Load — Even a Little

You don’t have to do everything alone. Ask yourself:

• Who can I trust with part of this?

• Can I delegate or ask for help?

• Would it help to name this in therapy or with a loved one?

Even small acts of delegation or disclosure reduce mental strain.

4. Create One Restorative Boundary

Boundaries aren’t just for others, they protect your energy. Try setting one small boundary this week:

• A “no work email after 6pm” rule

• Turning off notifications for 1 hour a day

• Saying “no” to one non-essential task or request

Boundaries create space to rest, and you deserve rest even if nothing is “done.”

5. Book a Space Just for You

Therapy offers a container where you don’t have to hold it all. It’s not indulgent, it’s necessary, especially when your bandwidth is low.

Even one session can provide relief, perspective, and a plan forward.

Next Steps

You don’t have to keep pushing through. The mental load is real and there are ways to ease it. You’ve taken the first step just by identifying it. Ready to take the next step toward relief? Schedule an appointment with a licensed therapist.